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To all of you,

I know I have not spoken in months. Things have happened. I've changed a lot. We all have.

If you go back to Fallarbor Town, you should know that my home and laboratory are empty. Many of the things that were there have been thrown out, and others I've sold along the way.

Fenrir and Priscilla are with me. The others I've transferred to Bridgette, Bill, and our mutual colleague in Sinnoh, Bebe. They can decide what to do with them.

As for me, I am elsewhere and nowhere at the same time. The old me and my old name don't exist anymore, and I'll be much happier where I'm going. Please don't look for me.

I can't say enough how sorry I am for everything. Yes, the rumors were true. I was the one who broke into the system and shut it down last month. I know what I did was wrong, though I thought it was right at the time. I also know that there is no way for me to take back what I did, and I know that at least (or possibly especially) Bill, let alone the rest of you, will most likely not forgive me for it.

That and because I need to rebuild after this past year are the reasons why I need to go.

Don't worry about me. The system will be fine. Bridgette will take care of Hoenn from now on.

Good bye.

Sincerely,
Lanette Silverstein
* * *
Fenrir evolved and was fixed.

I am a year older.

There are rumors of another fight in Saffron.

All is well.

* * *
Although Fenrir is physically healthy, I feel guilty over what happened recently, and because of that, I'd like to apologize to Wes. While I believe that Fenrir's aggression can be placed on a desire to be a dominant male, I can't explain why he continuously disobeys such a simple order as "don't attack this man." Does anyone have any advice as to how to go about training a Poochyena puppy?
Current Mood:
thoughtful thoughtful
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Right now, I'm preparing Rose to return to the Sea Cottage; her brother has apparently settled back in.

I haven't given much thought to whether or not I should stay here when Fallarbor is freed. I feel a certain sense of safety here (despite certain events), but at the same time, I know that this place isn't my home.

God sent two angels to watch over me, although one dislikes the other (despite how hard I've tried to get Fenrir to behave), and the other I feel would prefer to be elsewhere. I can't thank either of them enough.

It's been awhile since I've managed to spend time in the cemetary to read to the dead. I'm sure he doesn't mind that I haven't come in that long, but I wonder if I should finish reading him the book. Can he hear me?

Current Mood:
contemplative contemplative
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Sometimes, when I go to read to the dead, I feel as if the dead are right next to me and listening to my every word. Maybe I'm simply being overly morbid, but I would like to think that one of them can hear me.

I still have questions to ask myself and a priest. Particularly, what sort of god would include such misery and oppression on countless people? I don't want to waver in my faith, but with everything that has happened in the past few months, I don't know what to think.

So, I ask. What do you believe?

Current Mood:
lonely lost
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The book has taken me one full month, but I'm finally finished. I've begun reading to him every morning before I go to work. I wonder if he's listening.

Recently, I've wondered about God Himself - if there is one. Never had I wavered in faith before, but since the beginning of summer, I've seen things that have made me want to doubt that a loving spirit exists. Maybe it is all silly.

On the other hand, I was also sent an angel recently, a Poochyena I've named Fenrir. An abandoned Pokémon, I think, as he seemed rather eager to be in my care. I don't think I could prefer anyone else's company over his, except for Priscilla's.

Current Mood:
tired tired
* * *
Next to me is a book. Every word of it is in an ancient language that I can barely understand. I made a promise to him that I would finish it and tell him what it means because he couldn't read it.

While I realize it seems pointless now, I think I should fulfill my promises.

* * *
Once upon a time, in a kingdom far away, there was a guard who, each night, walked the perimeter of the castle. On his rounds, he would stop beneath the balcony overlooking the eastern gate because when the moon rose high above the hills in the distance, the beautiful princess of the kingdom would walk onto the balcony and stand there to admire the stars. Each night, the guard would watch her without letting her know he was there, and eventually, he fell in love with her.

One night, in a fit of boldness, the castle guard waited for the princess to emerge onto the balcony. When he did, he ran into the open and professed his love as loudly as he could to her. Surprised by his presence, the princess didn't know how to respond. She didn't love him, but she couldn't bring herself to deny him.

Instead, she told him to wait for her for one hundred days and one hundred nights, and then, she would give him an answer. Agreeing to these terms, the guard went to find a chair, and, positioning the chair at the exact spot where he professed his love, he sat down and waited.

For days and nights, the guard waited silently. He refused to speak to anyone who approached him, and he turned down any food and water they offered. His determination and dedication to the princess were all that kept him alive, and each night, he would be rewarded with a glimpse of the princess, who shyly appeared on the balcony to stare at him for a moment in sympathy, even when the weather turned colder and her visits could only be briefer. Eventually, they became so brief that they didn't happen at all.

Then, on the hundreth night, mere hours before the end of the guard's side of the agreement, the guard, pale and weak from waiting at that spot for one hundred days and ninety-nine nights for a princess who never spoke to him beyond their agreement, stood, took his chair, and left the courtyard, never to return.
* * *
Well, the new version of the SRS has just been released. Everything seems to be working normally.

Unfortunately, I have no one to celebrate with! Rather, I have guests, but they don't seem to be very fond of parties. Is anyone free to celebrate with me?

Current Mood:
nervous nervous
* * *
While I'm making a lot of progress despite company, I really wish that there would be some miracle that could have Rose open up to other people -- particularly me. She's incredibly quiet and spends much of her time in her room reading the books she borrows from my library, rather than coming down to keep me company, and she rarely speaks unless I speak to her first. She also tends to stay away from the Pokémon wandering around the house (except for Priscilla, which I suspect is only because of Priscilla's ability to calm people around her). I'm not certain why Rose is like that, although I suppose that's just her nature.

Oh yes. Rose came to Fallarbor recently, and she will be staying with me for the time being. Her brother promised to make arrangements for her to be with him, but I'm not sure what arrangements he means or how soon they'll be made. It's not that I don't want Rose here, though. I'm just concerned for her.

Current Mood:
worried worried
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